June 8, 2011

The past few days have been a total blur. I haven’t slept since before Brianna ws admitted and it is very obvious. Brianna was up in severe pain all night long. Her nurse was in our room every 5-20 minutes and stayed for 20 minutes to an hour doing different things all night. Over the course of the night Brianna needed 2 antibiotics which go in through IV for 15 minutes,then need to be flushed for 15 minutes each. she also received Valium, then a flush, vitals, diaper changes, pain bolace, blood draws, catheter flushes, and so on. Iv pump needs to be cleared every 2 hours. I had to talk to nurse all night about the pain that wasn’t being managed. Nothing was working and Brianna was miserable! Many other things went on through the night which never left any opportunity to even get 10 minutes of sleep. I finally just lost it and told the nurse the way they operate and do one thing every 5 minutes all night long is bullshit. By 5 am I was in tears! I asked the nurse how I am supposed to stay awake 24 hours a day for days on end. She didn’t have a good answer. How could she? She doesn’t know how I feel. She gets to go home and sleep after her shift is over!

The previous night Brianna needed assistance going to the bathroom every 1/2 hour after having a completely traumatizing experience with the NG tube. Brianna had been trying to drink the fluid she had to take to clean out her bowels in prep for surgery. They made her drink 20 ounces per hour of a disgusting drink. She finally couldn’t drink anymore so they put a feeding tube down her nose,into her throat and stomach.

It was horrifying! Brianna was gasping for air and her eyes were rolling back into her head. She couldn’t breathe and had so much pain in her throat from the tube, they had to order a chest xray right away to make sure it wasn’t in her lungs. The tube didn’t stay in place correctly on her face so she sat up all night holding it. She was so very upset which of course upsets me, her mother.

The tube was not needed any more the morning of surgery so i pulled it out myself. Brianna hates these nurses touching her. While some are nice and great, others are rough and insensitive.

The other thing that is killing me here is listening to the other children in their rooms screaming and crying. They seem to be in terrible pain as well and it just makes me cry.  These poor children!

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